In Season 2 Episode 1 of the BBC series Louis Theroux Interviews Anthony Joshua OBE (the British Nigerian boxer). Louis Theroux has a great interview style and the whole thing is really engaging viewing. About 35 minutes in to the program there is a fascinating exchange between Anthony, his aunt, and Louis, which I summarizing below:

AT – Suddenly they go 'this is Anthony Joshua', and everyone [else] knows me as Femi. My full name is Anthony Oluwafemi Olaseni Joshua

Aunt – When I am talking to Femi I say ‘ok Femi is alright.’ Then I say ok ‘how is Anthony?’

AT – We can separate the two Louis – What do you mean by that?

Aunt – Femi is Femi my nephew, son, family. People in the world see Anthony as a boxer, so I want to see how he is feeling in that life, that part of his world.

Louis – Femi comes first

Aunt – Femi comes first

Despite watching the whole interview a few days ago I am still left pondering on the following questions

• What are our various identities?
• How are they separated?
• Where is the overlap?
• Who are we?

Big questions which require some space for reflection.

Please receive this as an invitation for you to explore your different identities.

Think about your top 3 identities.

How they are unique, distinct? What differentiates them from each other? Where are the overlaps?

I know I am sending a lot of questions your way, and I also know a part of you is answering them already…

Let’s go back to AJ… can you identify the differences between AJ and Femi?

Based on the small exchange above (and in the interview) I am going to draw out the following distinctions:

Femi – nephew, son, family, friend

AJ – boxer, celebrity, influencer

As you see the descriptions above these are labels and they represent personas, but what about the personality? And this is where the significance of the next step comes in.

Explore the question ‘Who am I?’ 

Side note – I wrote a whole doctorate thesis trying to unpack the answer to the question of ‘who am I?’ There is a lot to explore when it comes to understanding who we are and what is of importance to us!

And that brings me to the image above, we think that understanding who we are is a straight line to understanding who we are. It isn't. It is a journey. 

One way to discover more about the answer is to be with yourself and explore your answers, then be being with and speak to others, and get feedback. Be curious.

So, who are you?

Take this as an invitation to sit with the question for a moment or two.

I’d love to hear what you discover, please reply and let me know :-)

All my best,

Saiyyidah

The Space

PS – A few things I watched/read/listened to in the last week that I recommend:

1 - Michael Rosen, author and professor, speaking with Sheela Banerjee about the family and cultural histories revealed by names.

2 - Explore the image of the process of change or goal setting is shared above. In my view this is very much about the process of discovering our identity, it takes time.

3 - The Burial on Amazon Prime. The movie is inspired by true events, when a handshake deal goes sour, funeral home owner Jeremiah O’Keefe (Academy Award winner Tommy Lee Jones) enlists charismatic, smooth-talking attorney Willie E. Gary (Academy Award winner Jamie Foxx) to save his family business. Tempers flare and laughter ensues as the unlikely pair bond while exposing corporate corruption and racial injustice in this inspirational, triumphant story. I'd love to hear your recommendations, that has helped you to create space in the last week?