I saw an old friend and commented on how amazing she looked. She always looks great but this time something was different...

She said she went for some personal styling at John Lewis... I thought let me do the same.

Being a hijabi and seeing how flexible their clothing range has become have me confidence that at the time of my appointment I would not be given clothes that wanted to make me someone that I am not.

I was very impressed during the trip and bought a few very unexpected items. A few years ago when I worked on a significant online course that changed the landscape for how Muslim women viewed their financial status, I was told to go for block colour only. I wore neutral colours for years, with very little 'pop' or pattern. 

I put my whole trust in Anita, my personal stylist for 2 hours. She had me trying on geometric patterns, pink, green, and blues! I very happily left with a few new items and even ordered a couple more things when I got home. 

The images above are taken from my personal stylist session. A range of styles that I would never have tried or been brave enough to look at... but actually all seemed to suit me! It was a revelation! 

What did I learn?

Anita said in the morning after you have changed into your day clothes if you look in the mirror and don't think you look amazing it's time to get changed! 

From this I learned that we have a right to look good, and feel good... And this is a daily adventure, and battle. 

I also realised that I'd spent years 'getting changed for work' and now I am going to 'get changed to feel fantastic.'

Anita helped me to understand my shape, warts and all. Look, when you look into a 10ft tall mirror that is as wide as it is tall you have to face your demons... Well that's how I felt anyway! 

As a woman who has given birth twice it is no surprise that I am not the same shape I was when I was 18! Rather than look at this as a disappointment or have an unrealistic wish to physically be 18 again, I've understood that I can embrace my body as it is... as a work in progress, as something to be looked after because it takes me from A to B, as a thing that hosts my being, my soul, and without it I wouldn't be able to do many of the things I do! 

So, all of that to say, instead of dreaming of a different waist I now understand mine and how to take care of it. Same with my feet and how to wear shoes that look after the things that literally take me from one spot to another... And look amazing too.

Some of this is about needing to buy a few things to help create a brand new wardrobe - Anita told me to 'go shopping inside your wardrobe!' 

Some of this is also about having a new attitude and learning how to belong in what you have rather than seeking something different.

And some of it is about coming to terms with imperfection. 

The last week has also been a time where plantar fasciitis came back with a vengeance and I have had some irritation in my left lower back. Related? I have no idea! What I do know is that it is a reminder of how infallible I am... despite wanting to be superhuman or have the ability of a Marvel character like Thor I am not. (In researching for this article, I put the search term 'Marvel characters psychology' into google and came across a fascinating article that describes Thor's character as confirming that 'even when we endure the adversity that inevitably arises in life, we are still capable of great and sometimes even heroic things.' 

As the Koda Kid song says 

'We're gonna live like legends

In the ages of icons'

And when we aspire to that what happens? 

For me it makes me more discerning about the choices I make and how I spend my time.It makes me more conscious about who I want to spend time withIt makes me want to do more and be more impactful. It enables me to accept my infallibility and still keep going. 

If you were going to live like a legend what would you do? 

I'll leave you with that question to ponder on. 

All my best,

Saiyyidah

The Space

PS - The Courage to Belong retreat being held virtually on 20/21 and 28/29 September still has spots for registration available. I'd love to see you there.