Just Come

You don’t have to do anything

prepare anything

produce anything

perform for anyone

report anything

submit anything

be any where

adopt any role.

Just come as you are.

Let’s indulge ourselves

in sweet idleness

and delicious kinship.

by Noel Davis,

(from Heart Coming Home, 2017)

Isn’t that a powerful read?

One of the things I have been ‘doing’ in the last few months is spending time realigning my schedule/diary so that I have more time to do the things that are important to me.

An interesting blessing and curse of being curious and having a range of interests is that I spend a lot of time doing stuff. I have a strong desire for curiosity and learning. Whilst that feels awesome at one level, it also means I spend a lot of time outside the ‘doing’ mode at work also ‘doing’ in my free time. And that leaves me wishing I had more time to ‘do’ nothing.

Can you relate?

For me, it is the use of the word ‘do’ that is what allows the insights to emerge. And the poem above is a deep invitation to change our relationship with 'doing'…

The diagram below is something I drew based on a conversation with a colleague about the doing and/or being paradox.

As coaches, leaders, professionals, humans, are we spending so much time wanting to ‘be’ better/stronger/smarter/effective [insert your word of choice here], so much so that we are actually spending more time in ‘doing’ mode?

How do we receive, accept, and then internalise the invitation to just be?

Side note – you might be looking to me for the answers… I want to be really clear… we are all on the journey together… and I am open and welcome to any thoughts you have on the above question, because I think it really is our lives work…

The question is how do you just be...

So, what does all of this have to do with space?

A number of times in the last week I have offered (and received) an invitation to explore the notion of psychological space. Let me share, there is only so much space we have – and if you are reading this edition of The Space on a Sunday evening you might have a deeper visceral understanding of this as you are in ‘weekend mode’ rather than ‘work mode’; or maybe on Monday when you are back at work you have more space?

When we are doing a lot we use up a lot of the psychological space available – we may maybe even dip into our reserves – and then we tap into what we believe is the way out which inevitably is to ‘do’ more.

Can I tell you a secret?

The answer to doing more is to being more! To be more of yourself.

And for that time, space, and psychological energy need to be allocated (to the coaches reading this, yes I did say need!)

.

So how do you find the space where ‘you don’t have to do anything?’ (Davis, 2017)

As I reflect on the above and explore where I find space, for me, last week I was able to lean into the following:

– indulge ourselves – on Monday, I went on a short walk in the middle of a hectic day to clear my mind

– in sweet idleness – Yesterday, I created a ‘meeting with myself’ (that is one of my secret weapons!) and sat and had a long cup of coffee and a sparkling water with nothing to do, watch or read

– and delicious kinship – I met with a long lost friend for lunch on Wednesday Where can you find spaces to have nothing to do?

Side note – My husband often says that it's good for children to have some time when they are bored. I think that applies to adults too... Yet there is a skill to 'being bored', perhaps it is because when are aware that we are bored that we are really engaging with a deeper side of ourselves? More about that another time!

So, where can you find spaces to do nothing? Can I offer you an invitation? Take a quick look at your diary and create that ‘meeting with yourself’ where you ‘do’ nothing and just be. Maybe you read the poem above at the start of that time, maybe you go for a walk (not listening to anything or catching up on calls) – I view walking as an opportunity for an ‘active’ doing nothing. Maybe something else... Just come as you are.

All my best,

Saiyyidah

The Space

PS – A few things I watched/read/listened to in the last week that I recommend:

1 – Netflix Robbie – a documentary style 3 part series about the life and work (thus far) of British musician Robbie Williams. It was on my ‘to watch’ list since it was released, a friend said they watched it and it made them cry… It immediately moved to the top of my list and I started to watch it out of curiosity. It is more about mental health, and less about music. It is brilliant, and tragic, and inspiring all at the same time.

2 – The poem I shared above ‘Just Come’ by Noel Davis. I could read it a million times and it feels like it isn’t enough…

3 – Last time I read The Economist was when I did my Masters in Construction Economics and Management at UCL in 2002! I re-subscribed this week and reading it again bought back a lot of good memories.

What inspired you in the last 7 days?

Where did you find space?

Where can you find space in the next week?

Please send me a message through social media or sign up to the newsletter and tell me – I’d love to know ;-)